A little entry about skid row...more for my memory, but feel free to read it too! :)

I didn't know what to expect as I was preparing for skid row. I grew up in an extremely sheltered environment and never have been to a place like this before. The only place that sort of came close was West Oakland, and even that wasn't that bad. So let's just say I was scared...and at some points, deathly terrified. Unlike other people, I can't say that I'm not afraid to die. I mean...I'm not scared of what will happen after death, but I'm still quite scared of the process on how I'll die. Do I really want to be sitting in a pool of blood in the middle of nowhere, shot to death by some random person I was giving a taco to? Hahahah..it only made things worse when Sou and Ben gave us their cellphones and told us that if anybody attacked us, they'll hold them while we run as fast as we can away from them. That put many new scenarios in my head. Ahhh...sometimes it's so hard to trust in God completely. I remember Tiff Sum once told me that a person is the safest when they are where God wants them to be. So true, and yet sometimes so hard to believe.

Anyway, I think one of the saddest things I saw and heard was that there were sooo many shelters around the area that offered a warm bed and food to eat, and yet so many people chose not to go in and instead slept outside in the freezing cold because they knew they couldn't break their drug and alcohol addiction. Just walking down those streets and literally seeing people sleeping in cardboard boxes while the shelter stood right there, offering help, broke my heart. Anyway, one of the first people we met was this old couple sitting on the street, smoking and listening to music. The man was pretty talkative but the woman just sat there and wouldn't say a word. As we were about to leave, tears started falling down her old wrinkled face. In front of me sat a lady, broken, tired of life, just trying to survive another day. I think that image will be ingrained in my head forever.

The next lady we talked to probably scared me the most. She asked us for change, but we didn't have any so offered her a taco instead. She wouldn't take it unless we gave her all of it, so Ben started sharing the gospel to her. After a little sharing, she just got more and more angry and started yelling us, telling us that we weren't giving her anything. When she started swearing at us like mad, we decided to leave and she followed us down the street, yelling and screaming. The next three guys we saw was who we spent most of the time with. (Later on, I found out that they were drug dealers. I wasn't sure, but Sou confirmed it to me.) I think the saddest thing about it was that they, as well as a lot of people on the street, knew the Bible well. They could quote verses and stories and things probably better than most of us at Grace can. And yet, they have no faith. One of the guys we talked to I remember just kept saying "Jesus doesn't pay the rent." Another drug dealer believed that as long as he said "God, forgive me" right before he died, he would go to Heaven.

Man, people go through so much there. One guy was telling us how he tried to commit suicide 4 times, but failed each time. Another guy was proud of the fact that he beat up prostitues. A lady was telling us that she saw two men get shot point blank in the head. We even met a boy, the same age as me, who slept outside because his stepfather didn't like him. It was so cool to go with Sou though because you could truly see how much he loved these people...how much he felt for them and truly cared for their souls.

Ahhh...I have so many more stories and things to write but this is getting too long. Let's just say, skid row was quite the eye-opening experience. It really does change your whole perspective on life. Even today, just as I was thinking of things I was struggling with, I kept remembering those out there who were just trying to survive another day without getting shot or starving to death. These people are so in need of the gospel. Ahhh...it's comforting to know though that just like the prodigal son, God is watching and wanting even the lowest of the sinners to repent and come back to Him. I think this experience makes me want to even more go teach in places like this.