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[Nov. 14th, 2006|03:25 pm] |
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hi guys. just letting you know that i'm not gonna post in this lj anymore. it's too easy to find. hahaha...oh the curse of being uncreative with my username. but yeah...too many people have stumbled upon this randomly. so now it's no longer a secret lj! so moving far far away. yeah...so i guess don't waste your time checking it anymore. okay, bye! |
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[Nov. 4th, 2006|12:21 pm] |
Mrs. Hays: "I can't even go through one song in worship without sinning."
man..how true that is. I can't even go through girls prayer meeting without sinning either. how lame we are...that even when we are approaching our one true God in worship or prayer, we still can sin so very much. man. the powers of Satan are so strong sometimes.
ahhh...but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through out Lord Jesus Christ! (1 Cor. 15:57)
we are washed as white as snow! ohhhh may we think of that often and marvel at the wonders of those words! |
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[Oct. 11th, 2006|10:34 am] |
Ever feel like your heart is just overburdened with the troubles of other people? You long to comfort them, cry with them, make things all better...but you just can't. And it hurts so much...and soon their troubles become your troubles and your heart is weighed down with the gravity of it all and it begins to crush you. hmmm...but slowly learning that sometimes..actually, not sometimes, but always the best thing you can do for them is lay them down at the feet of Jesus, for He can carry them so much better than you can.
God, the burden of it all is just getting a little too great. I put into your hands SarahK., Hannah, my small groupies, home friends, etc. knowing that you are a faithful God and you love them oh so much more than I ever can. God, be a comfort to them. Let their hope be rooted firmly in you and you alone.
hmm...this lj makes me sound so emo. hahaha. but I only update this thing when I'm feeling contemplative. So please don't think I have problems galore and things are awful for me. I am super blessed. Grateful for things like good friends who know when I'm down and worry about me, old small group leaders who call me and are constantly praying for me, encouraging emails among our girls sharing good articles and quotes, prayer meetings where we can talk with our God intimately and passionately, etc. mmm...life is so much better than I deserve. |
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[Oct. 2nd, 2006|02:23 pm] |
conversation between Hudson Taylor, a missionary to China, and a recently new convert
Ni: How long have you had the Glad Tidings (aka the gospel) in your country? Hudson Taylor (reluctantly): Some hundreds of years Ni: What! Hundreds of years? My father sought the Truth and died without finding it. Oh, why did you not come sooner?
ouch. oh let us earnestly seek to bring Christ to those who might still be reached. |
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[Sep. 26th, 2006|12:19 pm] |
what a crazy emotional week it has been. apartment life has been...harder than expected. thinking and prepping about small group has been very soul-searching. retreat has been convicting and humbling. ohhh...i wonder if this is what the whole year is going to be like. much crying and prayer. hahaha...I find myself tearing up over everything, even crying over reading reports of things happening to Christians in the Congo.
but oh the grace of God, what an amazing thing that is! sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst with gratefulness and a yearning for more of Him in my life.
oh soul, taste and see that the Lord is good and His mercy endures forever!
too many thoughts in my head right now. |
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[Sep. 19th, 2006|03:56 pm] |
ohhh...it hurts so much when a friend falls away from God.
Bring her back, Lord. Draw her back to you... |
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[Sep. 10th, 2006|09:33 pm] |
Yesterday and today my home church celebrated its 50th anniversary! It's kind of weird because GCC is celebrating their 50th anniversary too! hahaha..which means both our churches were started around the same time. Wow. Such craziness! Anyway, it's pretty amazing hearing how our first pastor and his wife came with only $3 dollars in their pocket (such faith!), and now 50 years later, God has grown us into a multi-lingual, multi-generational, 1000+ congregation with a brand new campus in Alameda! Man. It's great to look back sometimes and marvel at all the ways God has blessed us and sovereignly fit everything so perfectly. hahaha...our church went through a lot, from our pastor getting arrested for child molestation to a big split that caused much hatred between families and friends. So it's by God's grace alone that we are where we are today.
Anyway, you know what I realized this weekend? Even though my church has it's many flaws, like weak teaching and theology that I don't really agree with anymore, I still love my church so much. I truly owe all my pastors, sunday school teachers, etc. for molding me into who I am today. Seriously, if I didn't grow up there, who knows...maybe I would now be some wild party girl at UCLA :) hahahaha. So anyway, this weekend was great. It's nice to come back to church and feel like it's home...to have friends' parents come up and give you big hugs and ask how college is, to reminisce with old sponsors what we were like in middle school at YBC and to lament with them how old we've gotten, to see old CCS friends that I haven't talked to for a while (esp. ones that left after elementary school) and catch up, to remember the good ole days when we had to wear super ugly uniforms and went to things like Thanksgiving dinners...
So I guess even if I decide not to stay at my home church when I graduate, I pray that God will continue to bless them and make them a church that loves the Lord with all their heart and is passionate to glorify His name in all that they do! It'll be fun to see what the next generation from BACBC and CCS will be like :) |
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[Sep. 8th, 2006|07:25 pm] |
"Recently, a well-respected evangelical explained to me why, although not a hill he would die on, he believes a great time for the Rapture would be before January 2009."
As I read that sentence from Roger's xanga (yes...I stalk people I have never even met), my heart was suddenly paralyzed with fear. "2009?" I thought. "But that's in 3 years! What if I want to get married? Have a job? Raise a family? Live a long fulfilling life?" Man. And it hit me hard how selfish I am. What a strong grip the world and all my personal ambitions and dreams have on my life.
But then I realized something even scarier. The true fact is that I'm not ready to die or have Jesus come because I can't face my Savior. I don't know what I would say when I stand before the throne and have to account for my life. How can I look into the face of the one who was crucified for my sake and tell Him that I just wasted my life away in front of the computer or doing other worthless things? Oh my friends, I plead with you, don't waste your life! Live lives worthy of the gospel. It's so easy to say but hard to do. But I pray that as 2 Peter 3 says, we would live our lives in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and HASTENING the day of God.
wow. Jesus is coming sooner than we think. Let us be prepared so that we can long for the day when our King returns to judge this sinful world. |
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[Sep. 1st, 2006|10:15 pm] |
"When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more insatiable, and my thirstings after holiness the more unquenchable; ... Oh, for holiness! Oh, for more of God in my soul! Oh, this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press after God ... Oh, that I might not loiter on my heavenly journey!" David Brainerd
and a letter written by Adoniram Judson to Ann's father, asking for her hand in marriage. "I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean, to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of him who left is heavily home, and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing, immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory, with the crown of righteous, brightened with the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Savior from heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?"
such craziness. I love reading biographies!
edit: one more! John G. Paton was a missionary to the South Sea Islands around the time where missionaries were being eaten by cannibals and such. Anyway, his work there was full of near-death experiences with the natives. But this is what he said after one almost attack: "My heart rose up to the Lord Jesus; I saw Him watching all the scene. My peace came back to me like a wave from God. I realized that I was immortal till my Master's work with me was done. The assurance came to me, as if a voice out of Heaven had spoken, that not a musket would be fired to wound us, not a club prevail to strike us, not a spear leave the hand in which it was held vibrating to be thrown, not an arrow leave the bow, or a killing stone the fingers, without the permission of Jesus Christ, whose is all power in Heaven and on Earth. He rules all Nature, animate and inanimate, and restrains even the Savage of the South Seas."
hmmmm..may we life a radically different life, not fearing death at all, for as long as we are in God's will, we are immortal until He calls us home. |
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[Aug. 22nd, 2006|10:42 pm] |
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you know what's weird? if you asked me right when I got off the plane, "how was brazil?" I might have gone on an angry tangent and told you that it seemed a little worthless and I wouldn't go again. But as I've been thinking about it more and more and writing my follow-up letter and such, I've started to see what a huge blessing it was to go on it. Seriously. I think it impacted my life in a lot more ways than I thought it did. Wow. God is a crazy, surprising God sometimes. hahaha. and I miss Brazil a lot. |
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